Worst Song to get a lap dance to?

I see that this topic is trending on Twitter, so I thought I'd try and make my second blog post at least vaguely related to the title and discuss what - it appears - all the people are talking about. Worldwide, no less.

Now, I've been in a lap dance scenario before. I'll be honest, I don't really remember what music was playing. Generally if you're in that situation you're going to be at least slightly intoxicated, and if not, you are going to be distracted.

So what'd make a bad song? The lyrics? The beat? It'd be easy just to plump for something by Philip Glass, or a set of comedy lyrics (as a lot of the people on twitter did, such as Beyonces If I were a Boy, Kelis with I hate you so much right now and Jessie J's Do it like a dude). So I'm not going to. Instead, imagine a moderately attractive, scantily glad eastern European girl gyrating on your lap to this...

Oh dear lord!